November/December 2002
Until We Leap Like Deer
by Judith Hayes
After breaking her neck in 1967 in a diving accident on Chesapeake Bay at the age of 17, Joni Eareckson not only had to face life as a quadriplegic, but also lose many of her hopes and dreams.
Joni was an active, athletic teenager with a cute face filled with freckles and a ski-slope nose to match. She had a bright smile, and a head filled with questions about her accident.
In the summer of 1969 Joni met Steve Estes. Steve would become not only a close personal friend, but the co-author of many of the books Joni has written in the years that followed. Steve was also her companion as they both ventured into a deep study of the Bible to discover what God teaches about pain, suffering and healing.
Joni knows suffering. The wisdom and courage she has gained during her years of recovery and acceptance, have given birth to a woman of God who knows what she's talking about when it comes to facing the daily reality of living with pain.
There is a unique quality about Joni -- a sense that she is living out her life with one foot penetrating the kingdom of heaven, while her other foot is firmly planted on earth, and both feet are being supported by her wheelchair.
| There is a unique quality about Joni-a sense that she is living out her life with one foot penetrating the kingdom of heaven, while her other foot is firmly planted on earth, and both feet are being supported by her wheelchair. |
Joni hasn't always "walked" in such peace and acceptance. "Years ago when I first had my accident, there were many months that I complained, felt resentment, deep depression and I became self-centered. As the months passed, I could feel that God was healing my soul. My confusion was, Why wasn't he healing my body?
I was learning to accept my paralysis as a chronic condition and broaching my new life in God. My diving accident was the beginning of a long, arduous process in becoming like Christ."
Joni's family and friends became her mainstay and encouragement. Scores of believers laid hands on Joni and anointed her with oil. Friends often took her to Kathryn Kuhlman meetings to receive a healing. She wasn't healed. It became a vicious cycle.
Joni was not healed in the way she perceived God to heal. "I went to those services in desperation, claiming Bible verses and hoping God would give me what I asked for. I read my Bible. I prayed. Of course, God would heal me. There was something wrong with this picture. Why are my pleas not working? No one in the healing line in a wheelchair was healed."
It pushed Joni into a deeper study of God's Word. "My study of the Bible has not answered all of my questions, but it has taught me about the One who can make sense out of suffering. I began to grasp understanding of God's promises to me. I didn't learn to walk, but I learned to wait. I was never able to run again, but God gave me rest."
God's will for Joni was becoming clear. She could glorify God through her suffering. It would take humility and self-denial to leave her pleas for healing before God, to learn to take the focus off of herself and invest in others who were hurting, ill and injured. "I learned that trials can knock us off our pedestals of pride and force us to depend on God alone. They can also give us an incredible capacity to empathize and relate to others who hurt."
Joni believes as we suffer, we die to resentment, worry, fear of the future, bitterness and the constant itching to have things our way. "I have discovered that God can heal. He does heal. But he is not obligated to heal. I believe we see healings as 'sneak previews' of things that are to come. Until then, I feel the Father wants to advance the kingdom of his Son and reclaim the earth as his. Part of that plan is advancing the gospel."
| "I have discovered that God can heal. He does heal. But he is not obligated to heal. I believe we see healings as 'sneak previews' of things that are to come. Until then, I feel the Father wants to advance the kingdom of his Son, and reclaim the earth as his." |
Joni has deep compassion for others like herself who live with daily pain, illness and disabilities. She is not hyper-spiritual, nor does she advocate that to those who suffer. "Too often we repress deep emotions about suffering. All we've done is shove the problem to the back burner where it simmers. We may also hide behind religious pretense rather than feel the real pain. Strong emotions can open up the door to asking the really hard questions, and ultimately getting closer to God."
Joni has experienced some cruelty during her 34 years as a quadriplegic. At a large Christian convention an unknown woman approached Joni and suggested that Joni could be healed of her paralysis if she repented. "I cannot allow those experiences to disillusion me from what God has impressed on my heart. He has given me the gift of 31 extra years to live, to love and to serve him. Most quadriplegics die by twenty years of age. I have a vision, and without that vision I would perish."
Many people have asked Joni for her advice about living with a disability or illness. She said she awakes most mornings and her first thoughts have been, God, I cannot do this. I'm tired of living this way. I have nothing to give. I need you! Thankfully, each day God hears her cries. She finds a smile to greet her caretaker, and peace and grace to meet the day. "I have asked God if it is his will that I suffer. He has shown me how my suffering fits into a much bigger picture. It is the salvation of many, and the sanctification of our souls. God resists the proud and showers grace upon the humble. God is looking for willing hearts, not just to make our lives free from troubles."
Joni Eareckson Tada is the founder and president of Joni and Friends, an organization accelerating Christian ministry in the disability community. She has been married to Ken Tada since 1982. Joni is a prolific author of 27 books, best known for her autobiography, Joni, published in 1976. She was also a general editor for the Encouragement Bible by Zondervan Publishing. In addition, Joni is a sought-after conference speaker around the world.
"I still do not have all of the answers to why God chooses to heal some and not others. One day the Lord will come back as reigning King. Healing -- complete and total -- will be ours. Until then, people like myself remain in wheelchairs. I have that promise in Isaiah 35:3-6: 'Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance, with divine retribution he will come to save you. Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf be unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy.'"
Judith Hayes lives in Chatsworth, California.
Joni and Ken Tada live in Southern California where Ken teaches high school and Joni is busy with Joni and Friends. While they do not have children of their own, they enjoy young people as well as their joint ministry to those with disabilities.