May-June 1998
Ashley's Prayers
by Theresa Nelson
I thought my daughter was born helpless and needed me to teach her about life, but instead the relationship has been reciprocal. I teach her, but she also teaches me. She has taught me to quickly say, "I'm sorry," to eat frozen cherries, to draw smiling people with arms coming out of their necks, and to flip backwards out of a swing. But the most valuable thing she has taught me is how to pray.
Before Ashley was born I had very rigid and strict ideas about prayer. Not only did I need to pray on my knees, but my prayers needed to be about serious subjects and requests; God was too busy to be bothered with small unimportant requests. Prayers needed to be long to be effective.
My prayer life used to be as much a chore as attending a formal dinner. So often, I sat at the other end of the room when I talked to God, anxious to show only my best side instead of being myself, anxious to be rigid and formal instead of open and sincere. I was not being personal with Him, or having casual and frequent meals.
Children, however, tend to be honest and transparent, even in prayer. Because of Ashley's example, my views concerning prayer have changed. I have come to realize that prayer is meant to be natural, to be intimate, to be almost second nature. Ashley is now almost nine, but already she has taught me a number of things about prayer.
·We can pray anywhere. When Ashley was two, she decided to pray her first public prayer. She was sitting in the middle of the produce department, between the bags of potatoes and piles of apples.
"Mom," she confided, "be quiet. I need to pray for that sad boy over there." She proceeded to clasp her little fists under her chin and whisper her request. I felt a little nervous and immensely self-conscious. I was sure all the shoppers had quit filling their bags with fruits and vegetables and were now staring at us. But upon a glance around the area, no one even noticed.
Why wait until our next prayer session to discuss a subject with God? If we wait until we are home we may forget.
·Topics to pray about are all around us. Most of the inspiration for Ashley's prayers come from things she hears and sees. She hears about a fire on the radio and will stop and pray for the family. She sees a blind man walking down the street and prays that he is not lonely.
A bird flies into our family room window and lies stunned on our lawn. Ashley comes running to me, "Mom, a bird knocked himself on our window, and after I prayed to God about him, he flew off."
Years ago, I would kneel to pray and wonder what I would fill my prayer time with. Yet Paul says to pray without ceasing. If we look around and open our hearts to the cares of others, this is no longer an impossible task.
·Nothing is too insignificant to pray about. I used to feel silly about some of Ashley's requests. One day we were leaving the library, and I was hurrying so we could get home. I was oblivious to everything around me, except our car in the distance.
Not Ashley, though, she noticed a tall thistle that was struggling to live next to the hot concrete walk. "Mom, can you pray someone will come and water this dying flower?" Ashley asked. I wanted to reply with impatience, "Ashley, God has more important things to worry about. There's a war in Bosnia, there are forest fires, earthquakes, divorces, accidents, and I'm hot and hungry and want to get home," but then I thought about the Bible verse that talks about how God takes care of all the birds of the sky and the flowers of the forest. This was one of his flowers.
When I look at the world through my daughter's eyes, it only makes sense to pray about a wilting flower, a baby bird that's fallen from the nest, or that mom finds her keys. These things are important in Ashley's eyes.
·Answered prayers can be a witness tool for others. Three years ago my family and I were involved in a horrific accident. It is a story Ashley likes to tell people she meets. "Did you know we were in a terrible accident? My Dad was dead when the ambulance came and mom was almost paralyzed. My Grandpa Ron almost flew through the windshield and all I got was a seat belt burn and some whiplash."
People often look wide-eyed and mutter, "Oh."
Now that she's got their attention she continues, "After the accident I saw the windshield was shattered and I could hear everyone moaning so I prayed to God to heal us and help us and here we are all alive and healed."
God honored Ashley's prayer and now she uses it as a way to talk to others about God. It is amazing how many people, after hearing her story, share with Ashley that they, too, believe in God.
·Praying together bonds us to that person and gives us insight into that person. When I hear Ashley say, "Mom can we pray about," I listen and realize that whatever I am doing can wait.
Listening to Ashley's prayers over the years and praying with her has drawn us closer. It gives me a window into her heart to see what is important to her, what moves her and bothers her.
Praying that a pregnant cat won't have babies when no one is around to help; that a person in an ambulance will be all right; that she can see God, and if not God, then an angel; that the dogs at the shelter be placed in good homes with children that love them; that God forgive her sins; that she find a friend at her new school; that she's sorry for screaming at mom; that she have no more bad dreams; that the kingdom come soon; that she not swallow her loose tooth; that God call her to do something special for Him, this all helps me better understand her.
If you want to bond with your children on a deeper level, pray with them. A week ago, Ashley heard about a lady who kept a prayer journal/diary where she wrote her prayers in the form of letters. That night Ashley wrote a two page letter to God. What an inspiration she is to me. Because of Ashley and her example, my prayer life is rejuvenated and alive. What has your child taught you lately?
Theresa Nelson is a freelance writer and college English teacher from Mukilteo, Washington.