July-August 1999
A Friend of Sinners!
by Steve Brown
Some time ago, I had two rather unusual guests on my television program (The Late Steve Brown). One was the lesbian pastor of Tampa's Metropolitan Church (a homosexual congregation) and the other was her receptionist/secretary who was missing a leg, had three major bouts with cancer including a radical mastectomy, and whose daughter committed suicide three years ago. Both were lesbian and both were obviously open about their sexual orientation.
And no, before you jump to conclusions, I didn't compromise what the Bible says.
The next day the president of the network which airs the television program called me. He said, "My wife and I were watching last night, and when it was over I said to her, 'That was a great program, but are we going to get criticized for doing it.'"
Then he said something I very much appreciated. He said, "Steve, just a few years ago I would have been with those who were critical, but I have some friends who have been touched with this horrible sin, and I've seen the great pain it can bring."
For a long time I've been disturbed about the church's (and mine too) attitude toward sinners in general and homosexuals in particular. For many years I've had a rather large counseling ministry with homosexual people who have gone through such horrible stuff that I can't even describe it to you. I've seen the incredible pain it has caused so many and have been wanting to do something tangible to reach out to them.
A number of years ago, Richard Farm and I did a weekly radio talk show in Miami. One night we had three former homosexuals as our guests on the program. These guys had come out of the homosexual lifestyle and were now living either celibate or heterosexual lives. I'll never forget one of the men who, when I asked him a question, started weeping. He was so emotional that he couldn't talk.
"Son," I said with what I hoped was compassion, "I wouldn't give you a dime for a man who can't cry... but it doesn't make for a very good radio program. So," I continued, giving him my handkerchief, "use this, get yourself together while I talk to the others, and I'll come back to you. Anything that causes that many tears has got to have a good story connected to it." We continued with the program, and when I noticed that the young man was relatively composed, I turned to him and asked him about the tears.
"Steve," he said, "when you started to question me before, I had a flashback of my former life and how horrible it really was. I just couldn't believe how kind and gracious God had been to get me out of it. I'm sorry, I was just overwhelmed with thankfulness, and the tears were ones of joy."
So, with that as a background, I decided to invite the two women who were on my television program. For months my producer had been trying to get them to commit to the program, but they had refused. Do you know why? They were afraid that I would attack them.
You see, they had been attacked so often and "demonized" so much that they were weary of Bible-believing Christians. They simply didn't think they could go through the experience again.
But finally it was a "done deal," and they came on the program.
I spent the first ten minutes (I do an opening monologue before the guests are introduced) telling people that I disagreed profoundly with the guests. I spoke of the Bible and what it said about homosexuality. I talked about the necessity of Christians listening to people who were sinners, and that we should do it for two reasons: First, because we are sinners, too, who are saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8-9) and, secondly, because Jesus listened without condemnation (John 4:1-26).
For the next hour I listened (really listened) and, hopefully, those who were watching the program listened too. I don't know about the others, but let me tell you what I felt as we went through that hour.
First, I genuinely liked the two women. That sort of surprised me. I expected that I would have a visceral dislike for them. The pastor (and I don't even believe in women being ordained as pastors) was sort of like me in a lot of ways. The problems she faced in the church were not dissimilar to the ones I faced when I was a pastor. The other woman had been a police officer prior to her involvement in the church, and I decided that if I was in trouble, I wouldn't mind having her as the attending officer.
Secondly, I felt an unbelievable compassion for them. Rather than being angry at their sin, I was overwhelmed with the pathos of what they had gone through. I remembered how Jesus was called "a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and 'sinners'" (Matthew 11:19).
I have always wondered why Jesus didn't spend any more time than he did with the "religious" people. Jesus spent a lot of time with the "bad" people, first, because he liked them, and secondly, his heart was broken when he saw their sin.
Thirdly, I realized that it is absurd for a sinner to attack another sinner. If the only perfect man who ever lived attacked hardly anyone except the religious people, who was I -- somewhat less than perfect... well, maybe more than "somewhat" -- to do the attacking. Jesus loved people enough to accept them the way they were, but he also loved them enough not to leave them there.
Does that mean I approve of sin... mine or anybody else's? Of course not. In fact, holiness is not an option for the Christian. However, a part of holiness is gentleness and love, and it's hard to manifest that kind of holiness when one is beating someone over the head with a Bible. ("SHUT UP! WE'RE GOING TO PRAY.")
Someone I know said that he had a wonderful idea for our "teaser" (before each program, I do a short "teaser" just before the themes for the program start). He suggested that I say, "You have seen Ellen DeGeneres 'come out' of the closet. You aren't going to believe who is going to come out tonight."
No, I didn't use it. Do I have "dumb" written across my forehead?
I did decide, however, to come out in a different way. I've been following Jesus for a
long time, and I've decided that, in order to follow him, I'm going to have to accept
being called "a friend of tax collectors and sinners." He told me that it was
part of the "turf" for a Christian...
...and he also asked me to remind you.
Steve Brown is a seminary professor in Orlando, Florida. He is seen weekly with Tony Campolo on the cable TV program Hashing It Out.