Question: Hi!

This might sound weird but it is an actual question. My mom thinks that I am rebelling because I choose to wear baggy pants. Does that effect my relationship with God? Is wearing the latest "fashion" wrong in any way? I hope I am not being too much trouble.

John

Answer: Dear John,

I have a request before answering this. I would like you to ask your mother to read both your question and my answer. Do we have a deal?

Your question may be a little more involved than baggy pants – that is, there may be a few other issues that you and your mother may need to talk about.

Of course, baggy pants are not necessarily "rebellious" – but they can be. Depends. A white shirt and a tie, with a blue suit, may also be rebellious – perhaps not in the culture you live in where it may suggest conformity, acceptance of culture, and even power over others – but in other cultures it could suggest other messages.

Clothing and hair styles – dress and grooming in general, has come to convey messages far more complex in our world than they did when your mother was your age, and in the same way, dress and grooming was probably more symbolic for her generation and culture than it was for her parents. There was a time when dress and grooming was far more functional and practical than it is now – but, and this is important for older folks to remember, that was then and this is now.

Wearing the latest fashion is not necessarily good or evil – right or wrong. It’s deeper than that, isn’t it? It’s all about being cool, with it, up-to-date, and even more. It’s all about messages and symbols. You probably know that it would not be wise to wear certain "colors" or combinations of colors in certain parts of town – you probably know that there are "signs" that you would not make with your hands if you wanted to stay out of a fight, or even worse than that, around certain crowds or gangs.

We are discussing a complex issue – and my hope is that this message on your computer screen will help you and your mother talk. What you and your mother can talk about is far more important than baggy pants, even though it may not seem that way to you right now.

I hope that your mother realizes that there is nothing wrong with being as up-to-date as is affordable, appropriate and proper, given your families’ standards and values. Young people do not have to look "odd". That can lead to even greater problems.

But, I hope you will know that your mother may have reasons that she is not a fan of baggy pants – and I hope that the two of you can discuss them – her reasons may be financial, they may be misunderstandings on her part, they may be things that she knows about that you might not (remember – she has lived a little longer, and that means you should listen to what she says). She just may not like baggy pants – and if she doesn’t I agree with her – BUT – that reason of and by itself may not be enough of a good reason to deny you wearing them. She will have to think about that – and the two of you should be able to talk about it. Maybe you can both agree to find some pants that are sort of baggy, not "way" baggy – that both of you can live with.

John – you are not "being too much trouble" – but, do me one more favor. After you and your mother talk about this issue, write me back and let me know how it turns out. Maybe your mother will have something to say as well. Have a great conversation – and trust me – you will get through this!

Your friend in Christ,

Greg Albrecht