Question: We pray "Our Father in heaven…" and we are told that God wants to be our Heavenly Father, and believers base that relationship with their loving earthly fathers. People who were raised with abusive parents have trouble with that. My father left my mother and me before I was born, thus I never knew a relationship with an earthly father (and no stepfather). I believe in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but the "heavenly Father" is as "distant" as my earthly father. You love your earthly father and draw on that relationship with your Heavenly Father. What do I do? There is no earthly father figure in my life. I hope you can help because I need it.

Sincerely,

Damon

Answer: Dear Damon,

When God likens himself to a physical father he uses terms of imperfection and sin, for no human father has ever been perfect. All children are aware that both their parents are fallible, and unfortunately some parents more flagrantly than others.

When God uses the term "father" to describe the kind of relationship we can have with him, he condescends to our world and our kinds of relationships to use a point of reference. The term "heavenly" precedes "Father" when we think of God, which suggests divine, perfect, and holy.

There are some Christians who cannot pray "Our Father" because of horrible relationships and experiences with their physical fathers. For this reason there is no problem with you simply praying "Dear God" (meaning the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) or "Dear Lord" – or "Dear Jesus" – God understands, far more than we can ever imagine – and knows our stumbling blocks, our hang-ups, and problems. As Paul tells in Romans 8:26 when we do not even know what to say when we pray, the Holy Spirit will intercede for us.

God looks on our hearts – not our inadequacies and shortcomings – thank God!

Hope this helps, Damon.

In Christ,

Greg Albrecht