Question: Dear Greg,

Does God expect a man and woman to "stick together" no matter how bad the marriage has become? How much does each partner have to suffer before calling it quits?

Ailene

Answer: Ailene,

You asked: 1) if the Bible instructs husband and wife to "stick together, through sickness and health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?" You then ask: 2) "How much does each partner need to suffer before calling it quits?"

Your real question seems to be: "Is there ever a biblically acceptable reason for divorce?"

But first, to your exact questions:

1) No such formula, with those exact words, appears in the Bible. But the "formula" is used in many marriage ceremonies and those words do have biblical authority. The Bible does teach the ideal of "one spouse for life". That is the consistent teaching and direction of God.

2) How much does a partner need to go through? Open ended question – lacks specifics and could be seen as a leading question. On the one hand, in a marriage where partners are striving to please God and each other, the goal should be that the partners will go through whatever is necessary. Even when only one person follows God, that individual may wish to try to "go through" all that they have to in order to honor the ideals of marriage, their marriage vows as well as please God.

On the other hand, an answer to your question depends on a definition of what is meant by "going through". It is upon this basis that the biblical foundation for divorce rests – as that was, in essence, the question given to Jesus by the Pharisees in Matthew 10. Jesus defines what adultery is and isn’t in Matthew 19:9 – with what is called the exception clause "except of marital unfaithfulness."

Denominations and churches differ as to what constitutes "marital unfaithfulness", ranging from a narrow and restrictive view to a broader and more expansive view. This definition remains the basis of what Christians believe about divorce, and what marital partners are expected to "go through."

In Christ,

Greg Albrecht