Question: Dear Greg,

I’m an older Christian, by grace only, as I have become so embittered with life that I no longer go to church or even pray much. I’m married to a man that I thought was the nicest man on earth until we married. After marriage, he went from Dr. Jekyl to Mr. Hyde shortly after the wedding. (We’ve been married for decades). This person went to church with me 1-2 times a week before marriage, but afterwards he informed me that "everyone knows we came from apes and that there is no God." He refused to attend church with me, put me down and did his own thing while I tried to build a home. The children are now all grown and there are many grandchildren who dearly love Grandpa. However, I don’t believe that I care much for him anymore and would like to live alone.

Now he has Alzheimer’s disease and begs to stay with me. I want to get my life back together again, get back in church, and with God’s help, live the type of Christian life that God would want me to live. I deeply long for Christian fellowship, but no longer have the emotional energy to battle life. There are times that I would like to not wake up and I find no joy in life anymore.

Please give me your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

M

Answer: Dear "M",

You share a long and painful story, filled with grief, betrayal and loss. We cannot begin to talk through all the issues you raise nor address the ways that God can and will help you in a brief message on the internet. But here are some thoughts:

1. It’s great that you contacted us. You care enough to want to do something and recognize that you need help. That’s always a good first step.
2. You need some person-to-person help – as you admit below. Ideally, you need a caring pastor who will reach out – and others in a support group who will help you face the obstacles ahead of you. The place to find this is in a Christ-centered local church that is healthy and bases its mission, proclamation and preaching on the Bible. You might want to ask friends and neighbors you trust and respect for some referrals.
3. It would seem that you want to address the issue of church first – the need for fellowship, support and help that you can receive in and through a caring group of believers, and then the issues about your relationship with your husband and his Alzheimer’s. This seems to be the right way to start to make sense of the difficulties you face.
4. We are happy to pray for those in need here at Plain Truth Ministries, and we will be happy to remember you in prayer.