Question:  Dear Greg,

            I understand that in coming to a relationship with Christ and being born again, you should expect to experience great joy and peace.  Yet, I feel neither of these emotions.  My new-found faith in Christianity has brought me a great deal of loneliness, for I have had to leave the Catholic Church and all my friends behind, and now attend Calvary Chapel alone.  I do have a sense of comfort and a feeling of being on a journey of discovery, but no joy.  Also, I ache for my two teenage children who were always disenchanted with the Catholic Church, but have not felt called to any other faith community.  My husband, as well, prefers not to attend any church at this time.  Therefore, I am not at peace because I worry about my loved ones' salvation and I feel as though I have not prepared my children to know the Lord.

  My prayer life is very much alive, but at home I pray alone.  Every week, when I leave to go to a bible study or church service, I feel as though I am having to choose between God and family.  Sometimes, I will reluctantly stay home because I hate going alone, yet I resent their not going with me.  I had always thought of my family and friends as gifts from God.  Now, these divisions deeply hurt my heart and cause me so much sadness.

            Please pray for me.

            Debbie

Answer:  Dear Debbie,

            The dilemma that you are enduring is one that many Christians face and have faced.  We Christians are often our own worst enemies, as denominationalism can hurt and destroy faith.

            God, of course, works with Christians throughout the body of Christ – the church, the body of Christ, is universal – it is not a corporate entity, but rather an invisible entity.  Christians thrive in many denominations.  Unfortunately, all denominations and individual congregations often fail in nurturing and caring for the sheep of the Lord’s pasture.  Christians do become discouraged and disheartened when they see and experience a lack of vitality, legalism, hypocrisy, hyper-criticism and judgmentalism.

            There are millions of un-churched – many of who have had a past formal relationship with a church, only to lose faith and stumble because of imperfect human beings that are part of the body of Christ.

            That’s really the problem, in one sense.  The church would be great if it weren’t for the people.  As one person once told his friend, “I am sick and tired of churches that are less than what they ought to be.  I am going to search for the perfect church and join it.”  His friend was wise, and counseled, “You know that you won’t ever find a perfect church, because churches are composed of imperfect people like you and me.  BUT, if you ever find a church that you think is perfect, please don’t join it.  You’ll ruin it!”

            Based upon many experiences, very much like the one you are presently enduring, it would seem that the best thing you can do is to love and cherish your family.  Give them the best that you can, even though they do not attend the church you enjoy and love.  At the same time, don’t compromise your commitment to God in the place, time, and church you feel a part of.  Being a great wife and mother will only complement your Christian walk – and in fact is part of it!  Being a supportive member of your local church should only help you be a loving wife and mother.

            And, as you have, continue to commit this to God in prayer, and ask for his direction and resolution.  We here at PTM will remember you in prayer.  Thanks for letting us be of service to you.  May God comfort you, and give you peace and courage.

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht