Question:  Dear Greg,

            In God’s eyes, when are a couple married?  Is it when they go through a marriage ceremony either in a church or by the state?  What biblical reference is there prohibiting a couple from just living together for their entire lives without a marriage ceremony?

            Maureen

Answer:  Dear Maureen,

            Two people are united in holy matrimony when they make a pledge or commitment to one another (i.e., the marriage vows) to remain true, to love, honor, cherish, etc.  In our western world the church officiates at such ceremonies, while the state passes laws governing the official status of marriage, divorce, common-law marriages, and illegal abuses of marriage, such as polygamy.

            The Bible is clear – one man, one woman, for life.  If two people wish to live together without having a public ceremony, then the question is “why”?  Are they living together without making the commitment that marriage demands both by biblical standards and by the laws of our land?  Why would they not wish to make such a commitment?  The laws of our nation and individual states governing marriage are for the protection of both partners, as well as any children that are born because of this union, the greater family of both partners and children, and ultimately the state and nation itself.

            Marriage is a basic building block of society and culture.  The most widely known experiment in abolishing marriage came in Russia, just after the communist revolution a little over 80 years ago.  It is a matter of scientific fact and documentation that men and women simply living together did not “work” – i.e., the havoc caused by juvenile crime and gangs, the immorality and breakdown of values and order all caused the Russian communist rulers to “re-institute” marriage.

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht