Question:  Dear Greg,

            Could you please tell me what is O.K. in the marriage bed?  I don’t want to get too graphic, but I am especially concerned if oral sex is wrong.

            Thanks,

            Heidi

Answer:  Dear Heidi,

            The Bible is not explicit about the specific question you ask.  Several issues can be considered:

1.      The Bible, especially the Old Testament, affirms marriage and sex within Marriage.  Many examples, but the Song of Solomon is the best resource.  It is not, as some have claimed, a book that is simply about the spiritual relationship between Christ and the church.  While that meaning may be in the subtext, the Song of Solomon is a book about love and sex within marriage.  There are many excellent books available as commentaries on the Song of Solomon you may want to reference, available in or through most Christian bookstores.

2.      The Bible constantly emphasizes, within the marriage relationship as well as all human relationships, the Christian ideal of caring for another’s needs and desires. That is, the Christian ethic is not to insist on one’s own desire, but to first try to serve another.  Giving, not taking—love, not lust—are biblical imperatives.  This can be a principle for husbands and wives.

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht