Question:  Dear Greg,

            Deep in my heart, I long to be a good Christian.  I do love my Savior and God, but know that I’m a great disappointment to him.  I also realize that only he can change me, but know also that we are to “strive to be Holy.”  I find my self at times being the same ugly old sinner that I have tried with God’s help to cast off.  I become so disgusted with myself that I wonder how God can keep forgiving and loving me.  My temper is my problem, and I have little patience with most situations anymore.  I used to be a relaxed, fun-loving person who enjoyed life so much, but since my husband has developed Alzheimer’s I have become so discouraged with life and everyday living.  Our children, who I was always there for, no longer want anything to do with us and never cal or come around, and they refuse to help with him.  I seriously consider suicide.  I have no happy days anymore.  What words of wisdom would you have for me?

            Thanks,

            Mattie

Answer:  Dear Mattie,

            Thank you for your note—and for sharing the hurt, frustration and stress that is part of your life.

            Some points to ponder:

1.      How do you know that you are a “disappointment” to God?  What does it take to disappoint God?

2.      You often find yourself being the ugly old sinner that you used to be—does that sound at all like the language that Paul used in Romans chapter 7 to you?  If it doesn’t, try going back and reading this chapter.  Paul tells us that the good things he wanted to do were not the things he did, while the things he wanted to leave behind kept returning to his life. He was battling the “man of sin”—our sinful human nature, just like you are.

3.      Is it easier to be a happy, joyful person when our life is not filled with difficulties—like some of those you describe?  Of course it is.  When we are in good health, when our marriage is happy, when we have lots of friends, when we don’t have financial difficulties—we usually smile and “whistle while we work.”  But the real test of our faith comes when things don’t go our way—and the Bible is filled with instruction that the Christian life is not a call to physical happiness, prosperity and good health—but a call to adversity, to take up our cross and follow him.  But we do this knowing that our Lord and Savior is here with us—that he is alive—that he is risen.

4.      We have an encouraging book we often send to people who are encountering circumstances like the ones you describe.  We will be happy to send you a free copy if you send us a postal address to which to send it.

5.      We will also include you in our prayers.  PTM is a ministry of prayer, as you may know.  If you do not receive our Partner letter, we would be happy to send that to you.  It is a monthly letter of inspiration, encouragement and hope—you should be able to profit from it.

            May God bless you, Mattie—being with you, comforting you, and strengthening you.  You will remain in our prayers.

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht