Question:  Dear Greg,

            I have lied to my wife for many years about a lot of things, from finances to playing golf.  I have not had an affair, but came close at one time.  The lying is destroying my marriage and I don’t want it to.  I love my wife very much and don’t want to lose her.

            Please, can you advise me?

            Tim

Answer:  Dear Tim,

            Lying cannot be the basis of a solid or sound relationship.  There are times when years of deception will exact its toll, whether we decide to repent and change or not.  What you describe seems to be a matter that has taken place over many years, and I doubt whether a marriage that is impacted by years of lies can be changed in a short time.  However, a marriage can change—a marriage can improve—and we at PTM would urge you to do all you can to make those changes.  We need to spend at least as much time building our marriage as the time and effort (or sometimes simply lack of effort) of neglecting, or even tearing down the marriage.

            We have a booklet titled, “Building a Stronger Marriage.”  If you live in Canada or the United States we would be happy to send it to you free of charge.  It may give you some thoughts about where to start building up your marriage.  Let us know if you would like a copy.

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht