Question:  Dear Greg,

            I have a few questions:

1.      Is it wrong to seek counseling?  After September 11, my university set up various places where we could go talk to someone.  A member of my church said that it was a waste of time because we should have faith in God and not go talk to anyone else.  I don’t believe this, because as much as I love to talk to God (and He is the only one who understands, it seems), sometimes it is nice to have human arms to hug you.  Is this wrong?

2.      What do you think of a church that seems to cater primarily to young couples? At the same church as mentioned above, our singles group came about by accident.  After the Honeymooners group and the Young Couples group were formed, the Singles were all that was left.  I am 28 and waiting on God to send me someone and this irks me!!  (Also, I did give them a copy of “Is There a Pecking Order in the Pews” and that ticked them off quite a bit).

3.      Is it wrong to have an informal relationship with God (so to speak)?  I don’t speak King James talk when I pray.  If I have had a bad day, I tell God I want to have a long talk with Him.  And I beat on His chest and cry.  I fear God, but not to the point where I can’t come to Him when I screw up (which I do frequently).  Anything wrong with that?

4.      I want to work for Social Service agencies and with families (such as teaching welfare families how to manage resources, etc.).  Why do some see that as wrong?  True, I will make next to nothing in the way of money, but doesn’t the Bible say that if you serve the poor you serve Jesus?  I think I will be so rich in satisfaction and love.  I also think it is what I am supposed to be doing.  People in church see the fact that I won’t be making hardly any money as WRONG.  And when I say that I trust God is going to provide what I need (including a husband), they talk about being called to singleness (I have not been).  What is up with these people?  How do I answer that?

            I am so sorry I went on for so long.  Christians seem to struggle a lot, don’t they?  Thank you for your time and energy.

            Sue

Answer:  Dear Sue,

            We Christians get some wacky ideas at times, and your note is evidence that you have encountered a few:

1.      Counseling—some Christians have an either/or idea about Christianity and counseling of any kind that is not with their pastor.  Their thought is that psychology/psychiatry is useless because such disciplines do not appear to be grounded in the Bible.  The problem with this thinking is that pastors are not trained for most/many dysfunctions.  Pastors who are well trained to be pastors know that, and refer some they counsel to many professionals.  Pastors who have received a “hit and miss” education often labor with the idea that they should have an answer for all human problems—physical, emotional and spiritual—and sometimes they even begin to believe that they do have all the answers.  We humans need specialized help.  The idea that we “should just have faith in God” has caused much pain in many lives.  Of course we should have faith, but faith does not mean failing to use available resources.

2.      There are churches that cater to a specific demographic—an age group, a race, a culture, specific emotional predispositions, etc.  They are not unbiblical in doing so, but they should not be exclusive.  The body of Christ is inclusive, that is clear from any passages in the New Testament—Ephesians 2 comes to mind.

3.      An informal relationship, as you described it, is exactly what I understand God offering us, as opposed to a formal, dinner-ware, black tie kind of relationship.  God is anything but stuffy and ancient.  He is eternal of course, but not ageless, formal in the sense of sovereign over all, but approachable as opposed to cold and snooty.  Keep talking with God as you are—your relationship with him sounds healthy!

4.      There is a balance (as there is with so many areas in life) between loving what you do and earning enough to live.  You cannot serve others if you do not receive a salary so that you can be healthy and not have to spend all your time worrying about how you will make ends meet.  On the other extreme, one has a hard time serving others (and God) if they are given over to the pursuit of the almighty dollar, spending all their lives worried about their stocks, their bank accounts, the interest rates, etc.  God does not want us to be foolish as we prepare to serve him.  As you are in college, you need to prepare for a profession.  There is nothing wrong with choosing a profession that will enable you to serve people and one that will give you satisfaction.  You seem to indicate that you will be happier earning a little less money in a satisfying job, rather than work in a profession that will provide you with plenty of money but little if any satisfaction or opportunity to serve others.

            All the best, Sue.  Remember, other Christians have a right to their opinion, and you also have a right to make sure that their opinion is just that.  While Christian friends can and often do give us biblically sound counsel (and hopefully we can do the same for them), remember that as long as you are in step with God you are free in Christ and not tied down to what others think of you or the opinions they express.  May God bless you.

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht