Question:  Dear Greg,

            I’m not sure how to word my question.  I grew up as a Christian.  Mom emphasized the importance of waiting for sex until marriage.  I’m going to be 32 soon and have not “been there, done that.”  I’ve led a sheltered life and I would very much like to marry, however, I am very picky.  What exactly does God say/feel about sex before marriage and why won’t God help me find the right one?  I pray about it on and off, but I feel like I’m being selfish and bugging God. 

            I met this guy I’m attracted to.  He is a devoted father of a 7-year old whom I like as well.  However, I’m not sure how he feels.

            Your answer would be greatly appreciated.  I’m not getting any younger.

            Fay

Answer:  Dear Fay,

            There is no reason for you to be worried about your values, or that you have to submit to a standard that others have and are tying to pressure you into accepting.  Your values, according to the Bible, are correct.  You hope, as you state, that God will eventually bless you with someone with whom you may share your life.  Your life is a sum total of lots of things—and your values, faith, and beliefs are a big part of your life.  It would seem that you should try to share those values at appropriate times when you get to know someone so that they in turn will know who you are.  Our world is filled with people who are shallow, whose primary value is selfishness.  Men and women alike realize that there is no shared life with such an individual, as such a relationship would simply be two selfish people trying to co-exist while trying to get their own way most of the time.

            We at PTM encourage you to appreciate the values you have and cherish them and do your best to communicate them at appropriate time in friendships.  There are many people who value a person of character.  Don’t give up!

            In Christ,

            Greg Albrecht