Question: Dear Greg,

My cousin had a child out of wedlock. During her pregnancy, the father of the child was killed. It was an extremely difficult time for my cousin, to say the least. Some time after, my family had a baby shower for her. My father, who is Christian, did not feel it was right for him to attend due to the fact that the baby was out of wedlock, and would only show that he tolerated this behavior.

However, at the same time my father attended a funeral for a close friend of the family who committed suicide. I am also Christian but I don’t agree with what he did concerning my cousin. I feel that he should have given the same support that he gave to the friend of the family to my cousin. I hate to compare and contrast sins, but isn’t it rather hypocritical of him?

Herbie

Answer: Dear Herbie,

The question seems to be this: if we attend an event or fellowship with someone, does our presence mean that we tolerate and support specific behaviors? Did Jesus support the behavior of the woman at the well who had lived with many men and was at the time living with another? Did he believe in and support self-righteous religious people who judged him by attending dinners in their homes? Jesus’ actions in allowing people to “touch” him, such as lepers and the woman who let down her hair and washed his feet with it scandalized “good” people.

We will not change people—we will not change their mind by boycotting an event, particularly the events you describe below. We should ask ourselves why our actions and those of other religious people are often at odds with what it would seem that Jesus would do, according to the Bible.

We cannot impact people for Christ if we light our lamp and put it under a bushel basket. We certainly can’t help direct them to the glorious light of Christ if all they feel we do is condemn them (see John 3:17).

In Christ,

Greg Albrecht