Question:
Dear Greg,
My
brother is addicted to crack cocaine and steals from our parents, my children
and me constantly. This has been
going on for 25 years. We have to be
sure that our purses are locked up any time we have a family gathering.
He even took the jewelry out of my aunt’s jewelry box last Christmas.
As a result, my children and I have stopped inviting him into our homes.
He angrily confronted me this past Christmas, and said that since I’m a
Christian, I should forgive him and invite him again.
I tried to explain that it had nothing to do with forgiveness, and
everything to do with trust. We just
don’t trust him and can’t enjoy ourselves when we have to keep an eye on him
at all times. And as far as
forgiving, isn’t he supposed to repent and stop what he’s doing first?
Is it OK for someone to repeatedly say, “I’m sorry”, but continue
committing the same acts?
Rhonda
Answer: Dear Rhonda,
Exactly.
There are those who try to manipulate Christians, suggesting to us that
we should allow ourselves to be treated as doormats, and then smile and forgive
the person who continues to mistreat us. No
verse in the Bible suggests such a thing.
Forgiving
someone does not preclude the use of wisdom and discretion.
If someone steals from us and asks forgiveness, we, as Christians
forgive. But the fact that we
forgive does not mean that we need to be, or should be, welcoming continued
theft.
In
Christ,