(CLICK on the Q/A: for full question and answer)
Q/A:
I have been married for 16
years and for the past year and a half we have had problems due to lying.
My husband lies about finances. He
has cashed out on life insurance, his pension, and borrowed against property
without my knowing. We have seen a
marriage counselor for a year, but he lies to her too.
He says he will take care of things, agrees to let me run the finances,
but he can’t give up control when it comes to money.
The lies and lack of follow-through are destroying our marriage.
We have been legally separated now for three months because he took the
money that we had borrowed to settle credit card debt for his business and lied
about it when he was confronted. I
can’t take another lie. The
pattern continues. I gave him the
article on lying from your website. I’ve
checked into help for gamblers. He
thinks I am the problem. Any advice?
Q/A:
I agree with a single exception clause to justify a divorce (even though
my Bible
Q/A: Are Christians commanded to have children? My wife brought up 1 Timothy 2:15, where it says that women will be saved through childbearing. She’s concerned about her salvation and if we are wrong for not having children. I know that we are saved by his grace and his grace alone, but we would like to have a better understanding of the subject of having children. We don’t want to bring a child into this world knowing we might not be fully prepared to do so. Thanks so much for your time and knowledge! - LC
Q/A:
Will there still be
marriage in the kingdom of heaven? If
your spouse dies and you remarry, which spouse would you be with?
I believe I once read in the Scriptures that there is no marriage in
heaven the way that we have “marriage” in this life.
Any answers?
Q/A:
When
is a marriage recognized by God? The
answer is when there is a pledge or commitment to one another.
Is that pledge or commitment REQUIRED to be done in public—i.e.,
“walking down the isle in front of family and friends with a clergyman
presiding over the event”? I ask
this question because I was in a relationship where I was committed.
We had made a commitment to each other in my living room one evening and
I was under the belief we were married, but without the public ceremony.... I
guess my question is, does God recognize that
marriage takes place in the hearts of two people before the public walking down
the aisle?
Q/A: Has a born-again believer lost her salvation if she divorces her
husband and marries an unbeliever? - Pat
Q/A: I listened to one of your broadcasts and felt you did
a good job of explaining the husband’s role in marriage but came up short in
the wife’s role. You never explained what it meant for wives to submit
or what “the husband is head of the wife,” meant. It was a very
one-sided presentation. I am not saying it was intentional on your part,
but for whatever reason, that is the way you presented it. Also, I think you mischaracterized Ephesians 5:21
which is talking about the approach of any Christian to another, not the
specific approach of husband to wife or vice versa. I’m not saying your
information was bad, just that it was one-sided. And with respect to
Ephesians
Q/A: My wife and I have been married for 9 years. When we married I assumed that she believed in God as I did, as one God existing as a trinity of persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.... I found out shortly after we were married that she was raised in the United Pentecostal Church International (UPCI). The United Pentecostal Church (UPC) teaches that God is one, manifesting himself in three ways. They believe Jesus is not only the Son but also the Father and Holy Spirit. This belief has been referred to as “oneness” or “Jesus only”.... For our entire nine years of marriage we have both been members of a church that teaches the Trinitarian view of God. I assumed that she now accepted this. Five or six months ago her father passed away. He was also a member of the UPCI. Ever since the time of her father’s death she has started attending the UPCI church meetings by herself on Tuesday mornings and Wednesday evenings. She has been attending church on Sundays with me at our home church for the a.m. and p.m. services. I have told her that I do not support the theology and doctrine of the UPCI and that I basically consider it a cult. Now she says she wants to attend the UPCI church exclusively by herself since she knows that I will not attend there with her.... I think she started going to the UPCI after her father’s death because it made her feel closer to him, due to this being his home church. I did not object at the time because I knew she was grieving for her father. Now I don’t know what to do. I gave her scripture where she is not being submissive to me on this and she blew it off.... Any opinions for a brother in the Lord? Please pray for my situation.- Larry
Q/A: I have read your answer to a person who asked about interracial marriage. You do not quote scripture to back up your answer. I want some scriptures! Why do you allow interracial marriage? I see nothing wrong with being friends with people of other races, but marriage…I can’t help but remember what God told people in the Old Testament. Where does God say we can intermarry or not? Please answer me, I need to know. This isn’t just a thought, but IMPORTANT TO ME. - Anonymous
Q/A: If a wife makes more money than her husband does and she wants him to stay home to be a househusband, is there any biblical passage that forbids this? Most Christian men think this is not right. Are we not to be submissive to one another? Is not this idea of the wife being the homemaker more a cultural thing that makes no difference to God either way? Isn’t it more important that we be good Christians? What do you think? - Bryan
Q/A: I recently moved to a new city and state and I love it here. I’m on the verge of getting a good job. I have three kids ages 5, 3 and 14 months. I moved to get my kids in a safe environment. I can’t tell it all (the story is too long), but my kids were witness to someone else’s domestic violence situation. My eldest needs to be tested for ADHD, so his anger and acting out don’t make it easier for me or for my other two to get attention. I feel like everything is all piled up on me. I have to juggle my job, my kids, being in a new state (where I only know my boyfriend), and trying to figure where to start. I really love my boyfriend but it is also on my mind that I know it’s a sin to live together when we are not married. I’m 26 and trying to be saved. I’m out of answers and need some help badly. - Heather
Q/A:
If a person who is married
became involved in activity that was not appropriate, and they did something
very horrible, and realized it was wrong and honestly repented to God, does that
person need to tell their spouse? Will
God still forgive that person if their repentance was sincere and they changed
their behavior and got back in right standing with God?
Q/A:
I am a Roman Catholic and
my girlfriend is a Pentecostal. Her
father is the preacher at their church, and he and his wife (her mom) do not
agree with our relationship. I love
her and we have been talking about getting married.
But I want to know if a Catholic can get married to a Pentecostal?
If so, can religion be a problem between us?
I told her that I don’t believe the same way she does, but that I
respect her beliefs and I do not mind her going to her church after we get
married. I need some advice.
Q/A:
How can an unmarried,
sexually monogamous couple commit adultery when there is no marriage to have
sexual relations outside of? Could
this scenario instead be described as fornication and not be against the seventh
commandment?
Q/A: I’m not sure how to word
my question. I grew up as a
Christian. Mom emphasized the
importance of waiting for sex until marriage.
I’m going to be 32 soon and have not “been there, done that.”
I’ve led a sheltered life and I would very much like to marry, however,
I am very picky. What exactly does
God say/feel about sex before marriage and why won’t God help me find the
right one? I pray about it on and
off, but I feel like I’m being selfish and bugging God.
I met this guy I’m
attracted to. He is a devoted
father of a 7-year old whom I like as well.
However, I’m not sure how he feels.
Q/A:
A question has been asked
by a friend in respect to interracial or “mixed” marriages.
I understand that intermarriage in Old Testament times referred to
religion rather than race.
Q/A:
I have lied to my wife for
many years about a lot of things, from finances to playing golf.
I have not had an affair, but came close at one time.
The lying is destroying my marriage and I don’t want it to.
I love my wife very much and don’t want to lose her.
Q/A:
I know that our true
security is in heaven and not in the things on this earth and yet I find myself
building my treasures on this earth. I
find that I am not really involved in doing the will of God but rather am
concerned with job, money and possessions, and keeping my marriage going and
helping my wife raise our infant son. Is
this a life that would please God, or does He expect more from us than that?
Q/A: I am wondering about a
Christian form of birth control. Specifically,
birth control pills. Are these a
type of abortion? I do not want to
step out of line with God’s plan. I
hope you can answer my question, or lead me in a direction where I could find an
answer.
Q/A:
Could you please tell me
what is O.K. in the marriage bed? I
don’t want to get too graphic, but I am especially concerned if oral sex is
wrong.
Q/A:
Living together seems to be
a very common thing in our culture. People
that I am acquainted with live together for many years.
They then decide to get married and not too long after, they separate and
divorce. Do you have any
explanation for why this sort of thing happens in our culture? Is there an element of legalism or requirement about marriage
that leads to people going their separate ways? I know that some people live together in the event that
something goes wrong they can bail out more easily than if they are committed to
marriage. Perhaps it is just
coincidental that relationships to bad after people get married.
I am married and am finding that it is enormously challenging to maintain
a relationship and am finding it difficult to understand my spouse.
I am sure I am not alone. I
would appreciate any comments that you might have on the above issues.
Q/A:
I am a Christian, married to a Muslim.
When we got married I thought that one day he would believe in the Lord
Jesus Christ. Five months ago, I
found out that he committed adultery with another woman.
We have a three-year-old son. My
husband is regretting his infidelity and wants us to come back home.
Question? Could I divorce my
husband in the eyes of God and be able to remarry? Or should I forgive my husband (which I have already), but I
am not sure God wants me in a relationship with a Muslim, who after 7 years has
no plans of being saved.
Q/A: In God’s eyes, when are a
couple married? Is it when they go
through a marriage ceremony either in a church or by the state?
What biblical reference is there prohibiting a couple from just living
together for their entire lives without a marriage ceremony?
Q/A: “God never established, founded, blessed, commanded or
instituted polygamy.”
Q/A: As a Baptist (and a subscriber to Plain Truth Magazine) I am
troubled by the alarming increase in the number of divorces amongst Christians.
I believe that divorce, not drugs, is the number one problem in the USA
today. Now I see that many Baptist churches, mine included, are
allowing divorced men to become ministers.
I would like to know in plain English where you stand on this issue.
Q/A: I’m an older Christian, by grace only, as I have become so embittered with life that I no longer go to church or even pray much. I’m married to a man that I thought was the nicest man on earth until we married. After marriage, he went from Dr. Jekyl to Mr. Hyde shortly after the wedding. (We’ve been married for decades). This person went to church with me 1-2 times a week before marriage, but afterwards he informed me that "everyone knows we came from apes and that there is no God." He refused to attend church with me, put me down and did his own thing while I tried to build a home. The children are now all grown and there are many grandchildren who dearly love Grandpa. However, I don’t believe that I care much for him anymore and would like to live alone. Now he has Alzheimer’s disease and begs to stay with me. I want to get my life back together again, get back in church, and with God’s help, live the type of Christian life that God would want me to live. I deeply long for Christian fellowship, but no longer have the emotional energy to battle life. There are times that I would like to not wake up and I find no joy in life anymore. - M
Q/A: You mentioned in a previous Q/A God’s position regarding divorce prior to salvation. Greg, what view should we then adopt to a lady or gentleman who was saved as single, then met and married a saved partner, and then, perhaps unnecessarily, gone through a divorce due to a falling away of one of the partners some number of years later – first backsliding, then in that state committing unfaithfulness and abandoning home? I think I understand that that would be a biblically justified divorce, however, is that remaining partner spiritually free to remarry? - Wayne
Q/A: What purpose does sex serve for a Christian couple who are married? Is it only to "create another family out of love?" If so, what purpose does it serve for the Christian couple who, for medical and biological reasons, can’t have children. Any help on this subject would be greatly appreciated. - Miguel
Q/A: I have a concern. When women get married are we supposed to submit to our husbands and do what they tell us to do? My fiancée said that there is a Scripture in the Bible that says women must submit to their husbands and obey them. Is this a biblical truth? Please let me know. - Marion
Q/A: Does God expect a man and woman to "stick together" no matter how bad the marriage has become? How much does each partner have to suffer before calling it quits? - Ailene
Q/A: What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage? - John
Q/A: My wife is attending another church and it's put a bad strain on our marriage. To make matters worse, for nine months I was an over-the-road truck-driver and was seldom home. I love my wife very much. At times I feel as though I've put her in front of God. Several times I've attended her church so that we could at least see each other and have a some-what normal marriage. But, what usually happens is I get so frustrated at what they teach and say, I want to talk to her about it and we usually just get mad at each other and I know that's not the answer. We have a daughter and we both believe in our convictions, and I sometimes think that the proper thing to do for her (my daughter) sake is to just try to make things as stable for her as possible. My question is "should I give up on trying to make things better by doing things as attending her church when all it does is aggravate me to sit and listen to teaching that opposed my beliefs? I could use some advice and your prayers. - Dan
Q/A: Jon and Sue are married. Jon was previously married and divorced. Sue was not. Is Sue committing adultery in the eyes of God? If Jon and Sue divorce, must Sue remain unmarried? - Casey
Q/A: I have recently been saved and want to know something. I have a previous marriage, and was remarried before I was saved. Does this mean I am constantly committing adultery? I am very confused. My first wife is not a Christian and my second wife is. Will I be condemned from now on, or can I just go on with my new happy life with Christ without worrying about this? - Stan
Q/A: Can you help explain why Samuel, Abraham, and other patriarchs had multiple wives? Was this a common practice at the time and not disdained as it is today? How did God view such marriages? I’m in no way looking for an endorsement of polygamy – I just don’t understand its commonplace occurrence in the Old Testament. - Mario
Q/A: My sister is a new Christian. Her husband is not saved and grew up with little or no religion and is pretty much hardened to the whole idea. My sister worries about him a great deal. My question to you is: Is there not a verse in the Bible that states the "unbelieving husband" is sanctified by the "believing wife"? Could you explain the meaning of that verse? - Belinda
Q/A: There was a question that arose at our Bible study. In Genesis 3:16 the word "desire" – does it mean the same as the word "desire" in Genesis 4:7. Some of us are saying it is the same, others are not. Does "desire" in Genesis 3:16 mean control as it does in 4:17? My Strong’s Concordance states "desire" in 3:16 is to, "overflow." A Rabbi friend of mine says the Torah says nothing about "control" as it deals with Genesis 3:16. - Adam
Q/A:
I’m
a 26-year old recovering addict. I’ve
recently gotten married to a wonderful woman my age.... Last night, for no good
reason and for the first time in the years we’ve been together, I lied to her....
She’s blown it all out of proportion. She
is concerned about her ability to trust me.
I didn’t cheat on her, I didn’t steal anything or break anything or
sneak anything…it wasn’t THAT big a deal.
And I came clean right away, showing once again that I can’t pull off
the lie. Is there anything I can
say or do, or is it just a matter of time for her to let it go?
Is it possible to get her trust back?
I mean, I almost feel like it’s too small an issue to ruin years of
being good. Can’t she look at my
track record and see that I just screwed up?