PTM WEEKLY UPDATE -- MARCH 24, 2008
Homosexuality and the ministry
Q. I have been truly blessed by your understanding of God's Word. I am a young minister who struggles as a recovering homosexual. This is the battle of my life. I desire so much to be rid of the sickness that is in me and I just can't seem to find the strength. I have prayed, fasted sought the Lord, searched for support groups and cried myself empty, but the thoughts and desire take hold so strong sometimes it's like it's not even me. How do I get off this rollercoaster of sin and repentance?
A. Humans respond differently to temptations, weaknesses and potentially dysfunctional behaviors. We may not always know why, but we know we do. I was recently discussing smoking with someone. He said that he had quit virtually overnight, after 30 years of smoking. This was said with an air of triumphalism and a degree of condemnation (or at the very least, a lack of empathy) toward those who cannot do the same. I told this individual that I had known many hundreds of people throughout my ministry who desired to quit smoking. While some of them experienced something closer to the "cake walk" he described, many did not -- in fact many I considered to be Christians died without ever completely overcoming this addiction.
Of course that very statement would be debated by some. They would say that the mere fact that someone died without overcoming a sin is proof positive that they were never a Christian. I absolutely oppose such a wrong-headed, legalistic notion. Some would say that my view is "permissive" and that I am encouraging people to "wallow" in their sin. I am, some would say, simply encouraging sinners to "feel better" about their sin. I am, according to some, condoning sin.
I am not. I state the obvious, the real, the practical, the shared experience of many, because it is just that. We are not now, nor will we ever be, as long as we are in this flesh, perfect. It's of no good whatsoever to put on some kind of religious mask, some "church face" -- to allow ourselves to live by impossible-to-achieve standards -- and then fall into shame and guilt when we fail to achieve perfection. The truth is this -- some of us have a much more difficult time with some behavioral issues than others do.
How difficult is it for you to leave the practice of homosexuality behind? It seems, from your statement, incredibly difficult. Why is that? I am not a scientific expert on the subject, but there may be aspects of your past, and perhaps your genetics, that make this issue much more difficult than it may be for others. You may need to seek professional, skilled counsel about this topic.
Another factor. The continuing testimony of the New Testament is that we mature in Christ, as time goes by. We grow in his grace and knowledge -- we become more like him. The New Testament doesn't stipulate time and schedules (as some would seem to suggest it does) but it does indicate a general direction of improvement, of becoming more like him, if we are truly in him and he in us. The kingdom is like a mustard seed, Jesus said in one parable. The indication is that divinely produced change does not generally happen overnight. The Bible does teach that if we are indwelt by Jesus, if we have yielded our lives to him without reservation, then we are in his workshop, we are in the process of becoming his workmanship (Ephesians 2:10) and he will produce in us what he so desires, in his time, in his way. Again, the Bible teaches this, with the disclaimer, assuming we completely surrender everything to Him. We must not kid ourselves. We either surrender all to Him, or we do not surrender at all.
This progress in the Lord, as I understand it, does not mean that there may be times when Christians have a setback -- for again, as long as we are in this flesh, we will sin. There are obese people who are sick and tired of being obese -- some of them are Christians. Many people observe obese people and assume that such individuals are lazy gluttons who have little or no self-control. God tells us, of course, not to judge by appearance. We have no idea about the complexities facing such an individual. I happen to know some people in that very predicament. I know, according to what they tell me at least, how they try -- how they yield to Christ -- how they beg Jesus to give them the power to overcome their obesity. I know some people who have gradually lost weight, as extremely overweight Christians -- and I know some Christians who were morbidly overweight, who never conquered their obesity, so much so that they died early, from conditions directly attributable to their obesity.
Depending on the sin/problem, a person who finds it incredibly difficult to deal with a personal problem may want/need to size up how their current marital/professional situation may be impacted. There are certain recurring sins that, if we are unable to overcome and deal with them, represent a future disaster waiting to happen. If a person who has a huge problem with smoking takes a certain kind of job, where smoking is absolutely forbidden, on or off the job, with even one failure resulting in termination, then such a person may wish to gauge whether they are willing to chance the humiliation of termination, given the probability that they will revert to smoking at some point. Same with obesity. Should a person with major struggles with obesity, struggles for which they have been unable to find a cure, be in a career where weight restrictions are necessary? Are they just setting themselves up for a fall? Such an individual may want to wait until God gives them a little more control over their temptation, or simply avoid the kind of setting which has a high degree of risk. Of course, I am not making a direct connection to homosexuality and smoking, or homosexuality and obesity. I use those issues by way of illustration.
You say you are in ministry. What stipulations does your church/denomination have about homosexual practice? Are certain types of ministry, depending on the codes of conduct governing your ministry, less problematic, given the struggle you are facing? Are those "lower risk" kinds of ministry available to you? Is the ministry a good place -- the right place for you? Is some form of self employment, perhaps still within ministry at large, perhaps in terms of research, writing, etc. a better fit for you right now? How can you use your gifts and training to benefit God's kingdom while minimizing the risk you have at this time?
I have given you general biblical and theological advice based on my understanding of the Bible. I can't give you the personal, professional counseling you may need. But, as I'm sure you know, even professional counselors differ about therapies and protocols that can be applied -- as to whether they are effective or not.
It may sound like a cliché, but it isn't -- God is not finished with you yet. Don't give up on yourself! Don't let shame, guilt, frustration, or anxiety drive you away from God. Stay close to God, remain close to the Shepherd of your soul. He won't let go of you. He won't abandon you.
RETURN TO PTM WEEKLY UPDATE CONTENTS PAGECopyright © 2008 Plain Truth Ministries -- Worldwide.
