PTM WEEKLY UPDATE -- NOVEMBER 16, 2009

Counsel ONLY with Christians?

I was looking for ideas on Christian coaching, and in the process, I found a website of a large Protestant church which asserted: “The Bible distinctly tells us to seek only the counsel of other Christians.” But where does the Bible tell us distinctly to seek only the counsel of other Christians? Proverbs tells us that in the multitude of counselors there is wisdom. This is a general principle, that when you get a broader view, based on the opinions and experience of many, you'll be better off than leaning on one narrow viewpoint.

Certainly this dogma, from a large church, of seeking only Christian counsel isn't found in the Old Testament, because Christ hadn't yet arrived. Such reasoning would obviously preclude us from seeking the wisdom of the patriarchs (although I suspect, if pressed, this church would "allow" Old Testament writers and patriarchs to be regarded as Christian).

It frustrates me to see dogma like this. I know many people who have refused to see a counselor or therapist because of this very belief. They are still, after decades, repressed, depressed and miserable, with the same outlook on life and the same unhelpful approaches used year after year. They are told that the Bible is all they need, or that prayer is all they need, or "more of God's Spirit." When they fail, imagine the guilt they feel over not being spiritual enough. So now, on top of feeling depressed, angry or stuck, they feel guilty and sinful for not overcoming better.

I know many people who have refused to see a counselor or therapist because of this very belief. They are still, after decades, repressed, depressed and miserable, with the same outlook on life and the same unhelpful approaches used year after year.

Some people simply have a problem in their thinking patterns. Perhaps they have always seen themselves as a victim. For example: A person you know walks past you on the street and sees you but doesn't respond when you wave to them. How do you react? A person with a victim mentality might think, "See, that just shows that no one likes me and I'm worthless." Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) takes such negative thoughts and rewires them. So, the next time a similar incident occurs, the previous victim has some options: "Perhaps my friend isn't feeling well or is late and doesn't want to stop to chat, or perhaps my friend has her mind on other things . . . "

CBT was developed by a psychiatrist Aaron Beck in the 1960s. "It works by changing people’s attitudes and their behavior by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs and attitudes that we hold (our cognitive processes) and how this relates to the way we behave, as a way of dealing with emotional problems. It is used to help treat a wide range of issues in a person’s life, from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression."

I'm not aware of whether Aaron Beck was a Christian, but his methods of CBT have helped many people, including me, a Christian! Carl Rogers, who developed Person Centered Therapy, insisted on empathy, non-judgmentalism and congruency (honesty) as foundations for the counseling environment. These values are inline with Christian values.

I have been helped by both forms of counseling, and I have always found the practitioners empathetic and non-judgmental about my Christian beliefs. In fact, one lady even suggested I develop my spiritual life more, as she saw how important that was to me.

I wonder if it's out of fear that some believe they should counsel only with other Christians. This dogma prevents people from seeking help in the secular world, where some of the most qualified and professional people can be found. I think if one is a Christian, they have nothing to fear from others who want to help them -- but they should not drop their brain at the door before walking into any situation. I've seen abusive, manipulative situations in Christian churches with powerful vicars or pastors who control with fear and use convenient Biblical interpretation to suit their needs. I've seen amazing care in the secular world. I've also seen brilliant counseling from Christians and hopeless care in the secular world.

At the end of the day, if a person seeks coaching or counseling, it is quality, reputation, professionalism and respect they want to look for, not whether or not the person is a Christian.

Blair Baker -- England

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