All Things Beautiful #10 – Ken Williams

Jack and Tina – one flesh:

Matthew 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (NIV)

Nancy, our children, and I lived in our home in W. Henrietta, New York for fifteen years. We became neighborhood friends by sharing backyard cookouts, birthdays, marriage anniversaries, school and summer activities with neighborhood kids, and sharing our backyard 35’ in-ground pool. Jack and Tina were next-door neighbors. Jack and I competed in keeping our lawns well groomed. One day Jack called me out of the August sun to share a beer under his awning. I attempted to cut the few green spots left by drought. Like me, he was a perfectionist but saved both of us from our obsession. The company, shade and beer were good.

One day while we were at a local pub, he shared that he and Tina had lived together for twenty-five years, but they had not had a religious or civil ceremony. Clearly, they were committed to each other, but he seemed concerned. When I asked him about it, he tested the water by saying, “We could go to Las Vegas but it’s too expensive.” He knew I was a church pastor, so I said, “Hey, I’ll perform the ceremony for you guys for free!” He backhanded my shoulder and said, “I told Tina you’d do this!” He was concerned about Tina’s reaction after sharing this intimate detail about their relationship.

Jack told me that Tina wanted me to come over. She’s a sweet, shy person, and looked concerned as we sat at the kitchen table. I asked if she knew why I was there and she said that Jack told her I volunteered to perform their wedding if she desired. She wanted to hear about the ceremony so I broke out my pastor’s ceremony book and began reading some of the text, explaining that this was a Christian ceremony, and I wanted her opinion about participating.

Her response broke my heart. She tearfully explained that over twenty-five years earlier her first marriage ended in divorce. Her church shamed and banished her. She explained that she didn’t think God would be part of their ceremony, that a Christian ceremony was impossible. I offered our church’s version of a Christian ceremony, and she sobbed tears of joy. They began planning a private ceremony in their home, and my Nancy Jo prepared a menu for a celebration meal.

But wait! We next heard that the celebration would be in The Turkish Society’s Hall used for weddings. They invited family and the entire neighborhood. Jack hired a limousine and now we were wearing tuxes. Tina’s 90-year-old mother had been praying to see Tina and Jack in a marriage ceremony before she died. Jack hired a disc-jockey with a life-sized cut out silhouette of Bob Dylan greeting guests. Wow! Nancy Jo and I thanked God we were part of this joyful celebration.

Nancy and I witnessed Jack and Tina’s commitment, love, and respect for each other years before this ceremony. They knew about Common Law, but knowing Jesus was present shed the veil of shame. Jack and Tina have tender hearts, not hearts of stone. Jesus made his presence known and she was free to rejoice!

Coming next “All Things Beautiful – 11 Different but the same”

Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors.  With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.