Embracing Grief – by Bermie Dizon
We have all experienced the pain of losing someone we love. When my dad passed away years ago in the Philippines, I decided to bring my mom to the USA so we could take care of her in her old age. She was 83 at the time. God blessed us with six wonderful years of her living with us. During that time, I had the chance to truly bond with my mom and get to know her better. We shared many meals, countless conversations, and even did some traveling together. It was also a blessing for my four children to connect with their “roots” through their time with their grandmother.
When she passed away at the age of 89, I grieved deeply. Even now, I find myself in tears from time to time. I remember a particular moment shortly after her passing. I was in a work meeting when one of my colleagues noticed I looked sad. When he asked what was wrong, I told him my mom had recently died. Without hesitation, he responded, “Why Bermie, you know there’s a resurrection—no need to grieve.”
To be honest, his words didn’t comfort me. Just because I was grieving didn’t mean I had forgotten about the resurrection. My colleague’s well-meaning words lacked empathy, leaving me feeling more hurt than supported. He seemed to believe that I needed to “get over” my grief quickly, not understanding that grief isn’t something we can just rush through.
Grief is one of the most profound human emotions. Whether we lose a loved one, experience a broken relationship, or endure another deep sorrow, our hearts naturally ache. Yet, society often encourages us to “move on” quickly, as if grief is something we can simply bypass. But rushing the grieving process not only denies the depth of our pain but also stifles the healing work God intends to do within us. Grief, when embraced with patience and empathy, becomes a journey toward healing—not something we can race through.
One of the most crucial reasons we shouldn’t rush grief is the need for empathy—for ourselves and others. Grieving deeply allows us to feel the full weight of our loss, acknowledging the value of what or who we’ve lost. Empathy begins with sitting with that pain and allowing ourselves to experience it. Just as God is patient with us, we must be patient with ourselves and with those around us who are grieving.
When Jesus lost His friend, Lazarus, He didn’t rush through His grief. Even though He knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead, He wept. This single verse—“Jesus wept” (John 11:35)—reveals the depths of Jesus’ compassion. Even knowing the outcome, He took time to mourn, showing that grief has a sacred place in our lives.
By allowing ourselves time to grieve, we cultivate empathy. We become more compassionate toward others who are grieving. Instead of offering quick-fix solutions, we can offer our presence and understanding, embodying Christ’s love.
Scripture tells us that there is an appropriate time for every emotion and experience under the sun. In Ecclesiastes 3:4, we are reminded, “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Grieving is part of the rhythm of life. We must not rush through the weeping and mourning, for these moments are as sacred as times of laughter and joy.
When we rush through grief, we rob ourselves of the full emotional range God has given us. In His wisdom, God created time and seasons for every experience. It’s okay to not “be okay” immediately after a loss. We should allow ourselves the space to weep, knowing that this process will eventually lead to healing. I have a brother who passed away a few years ago, and grief still comes to me now and then—not because I don’t believe in the resurrection, but because I loved him deeply and miss him.
In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spoke these comforting words: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). Here, Jesus is not telling us to avoid or diminish our grief but to embrace it. It is through mourning that we receive comfort from God. There is a blessing in mourning because it opens the door for God’s healing presence in our lives. Rushing the process can block the deep comfort that God longs to pour into our hearts.
Grief is not just an emotional response but also a spiritual one. It opens us up to God’s comfort in ways that joy never could. By staying in our sorrow for a time, we create space for God to minister to our brokenness.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live with the loss and finding peace in God’s presence amid it. Often, grief exists because of love. We can be encouraged by the words of Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God meets us in our brokenness and walks with us through the valley of sorrow. In these moments, He draws us nearer to Him, using our grief to deepen our relationship with Him.
Grief is not a process we can rush through or avoid. It is a sacred journey that, when embraced with patience, allows God to work healing in our hearts. Let’s remember that mourning is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith but a profound expression of love. In time, God’s comfort will come, and we will find peace in His presence.
Excerpted from “God In Every Step” available now at Amazon.com. Bermie Dizon is a husband, father, grandfather and retired pastor living in Southern California. Bermie is also a member of PTM’s Board of Directors.
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