Is My Wife “Lost” Forever – Will God Give Her Another Chance? – Greg Albrecht

Question:

My wife died recently. She was a good person but did not believe as I do, and some have said she wasn’t a Christian at all. As I grieve and mourn her loss, I wonder “where” she is right now – some say she did not know our Lord Jesus and she is lost forever. I hope she has “another chance.” What do you think?  

Response:

First, permit me to offer our prayers, support and condolences upon the passing of your wife.  Losing a wife or husband is one of life’s most painful losses. As you grieve her loss our prayers are with you. You ask if she will have “another chance” as some would describe her as not knowing Jesus.    

I believe John 3:16 which says God loves the world, indiscriminately.  He does not love one group of individuals more – he loves us all. 

Since, as you say, your wife did not know Jesus, can we infer, as some apparently have told you, that she has had her one and only “chance” to accept him? No, I do not believe so. If this conclusion is centered in the gospel of Jesus Christ it would appear in our present world many, if not most, do not know Jesus. Can we infer they have had “their chance” and if we do concludes such a thing, can we not conclude that it seems they did not have, in most cases, a fair “chance”?   

Then if we expand the  question and ponder the history of the world, and all of the civilizations that have existed, how we do determine what “a chance” to accept Jesus is? Of course there are two questions here – all those who have lived since the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, and those who lived before. Does God give everyone the same “chance” – whether they happen, by accident of birth, to live in a nation and culture that enables Christianity to exist, or whether they live in a primarily Muslim, Buddhist or atheistic country? Does everyone get the same “chance” whether they die at two years of age, or perhaps at 10, or 30, or of an older age? There are many questions here, and God does not reveal answers in the pages of the Bible.  

God, I believe, is more kind, compassionate, loving, gracious, merciful and forgiving than most  humans have been taught. God is more, he is better, he is bigger —  our numbers and calculations and attempts so surround him with our beliefs and perceptions are inadequate. We can be thankful that God is God … and we, and all of the Christless religious beliefs in our world, are not!

Thus, my belief is this:

• I believe you shall see your dear wife again. I believe she is now in God’s good “hands” – she is now at peace, now realizing and experiencing the love of God. John 3:16 says God loves the world, as that old song assures us that God has the whole world in his hands…. that would include your wife who has now left the mortality of life on earth.   
• I believe that God’s love is always available to all – and that our physical experiences on this planet earth, during the lifespan we live and the culture that surrounds us, do not limit or define the love, mercy and grace of God. 
• I believe the door to God’s house is always open – always, even after this physical life we live —  we are always invited to sit at his table and eat of and from him. Does that mean that God will always give us “chance after chance after chance” and allow us to “take advantage” of his love while we completely live lives apart from him? No, not at all. I believe God will always and forever forgive us, but I also believe that there are those who will not seek God’s forgiveness though it is freely available.    
• I also believe that  while God will always be available to us, and that he will relentlessly and tenderly pursue every one of his children, while we are alive and after,  he will never force his love on anyone. No one will be forced to accept God’s love – God’s love may be rejected. But God’s love is not so fragile, so limited, so diminished that God will only say “I love you and will you accept my love” to anyone just  once and if they do not appear to respond favorably, if they do not jump at his offer, then he will not “write them off” telling them they have had their “chance.”
• Thus I do not believe God is finished pursuing your wife with his love. I believe God is now offering her his love and mercy – and that he will continue to – as indeed he will all humanity.  That said, I do believe that in order for God’s invitation to be just, that he will, at a time and manner of his choosing, which is not biblically revealed to us, accept, a final and forever “no” from those he loves. We do not, I believe, know even the beginning degree and dimension of God’s endless love.   

May God continue to be with you, to be near to you, to fill you with his peace, that passes all understanding – to continue to lavish the riches of his grace on you – to assure you that your dear wife is his own dear daughter and he loves her as you did and do – to give you relief from worry and anxiety, comforting you as you rest in our Lord Jesus Christ.

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