Life, Dirt, Dust, Jesus Part 5 – Ken Williams

The knowledge that God “breathed” the breath of life into clay, taken from dirt, that came from nothing, is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it. My mind splits open attempting to grasp that God, the true Light, who enlightens everyone, came into the world he created, but the world was blind and did not know him. Humans are beautiful works of Love and Beauty but became adversarial. We are not totally depraved. God will have his way with his beloved humanity. God’s self-giving, self-emptying, selfless being defeats the adversarial spirit within us once we desire to come home to our Father in heaven. Listening to the Word, Jesus Christ whom all scripture points to, gives some needed knowledge. Changing adversarial hearts is his work alone. What does Jesus do that attracts an adversary to cooperate with God?

My relationship with God grew more intimate as I cared for my elderly parents. At first, I took obligatory actions of love, but in time, the Holy Spirit enlightened my heart. His love moved me to love, honor, and learn from them.
  

Dad and mom believed in God and Jesus. They were not religious people and only occasionally went to church services. Motivated by his love for a woman dad became a baptized member of a local East Los Angeles Roman Catholic parish. She became his second wife. She divorced him twelve years later, and he stopped attending the parish. He didn’t leave God, just that church. When I was eleven, Mom and I attended the Baptist Temple City Community Church, east of Los Angeles. We were baptized but I forgot what they taught. Mom divorced dad when I was twelve, we left the church. She dated an agnostic man for years. She remained convinced that God created us, and Jesus will return to earth bodily. I turned from God at age 16, I told him to go away and leave me alone.

So how is it that I now listen to him assuring me my parents and I are saved and they are with him?

Of course, my parents and I suffered the consequences of making self-destructive choices. We were hurt and we, in turn, hurt others. My rebellion continued until age nineteen when, like Forest Gump, I was tired of running and turned around to run home. What switch did God flip that one day I was blaming God for my life’s self-inflicted pain, and then, the next day, I could perceive his presence as attractive, and ask for help? I wasn’t afraid of hell, perhaps I should have been, but his invitation to come home was compelling. I wanted to go to his home and be in the care he was offering. I took his hand and felt his arm around my shoulders. I don’t understand it, but I love it.

I know now that God gave my parents their inner conviction, their trust in him, despite their self-inflicted wounds and life’s painful circumstances.

Dad moved in with Nancy, David, Heather, and me. He died three years later. While caring for him I saw him for the good man God made him to be. I thanked him for firing me when I was 18. This started the process for me to become a responsible man, selfless man. We embraced and sobbed tears of joy in reconciliation. We knew God made this moment in time possible.

There was too much pain for me to trust my mother. She continued to harm those caring for her. She attempted to come between Nancy, our children and me. I told her bluntly I would find her another home the next time she attempted this. She stopped and in years to come, the Reconciler bonded us.

Dad predicted his death, March 1982. He calmly told me he was going to die when he turned 82, as his parents did. He wasn’t quitting; he wasn’t a quitter. He turned 82 in April and died. He returned the breath God gave him at birth. He was a frugal man and did not waste God’s gift of life. It was well used. He died a grateful and respected man.

April 2001, mom gave back the breath God gave her at birth. Jesus defeated the feared debilitating Alzheimer’s disease and testified that Light always kicks darkness out of the room. Jesus’ healing presence, the Holy Spirit within, blossomed from within her decaying 91-year-old body, resurrecting the musical, poetic, lover of beauty he created her to be. In the end she lived serenely here and now, no memories, no fear, no anger. She gave back the breath God gave her at birth. She took Jesus’ hand and left her “boy” sleeping on a cot next to her.

How do I know this? I just know. Christ alone, grace alone, faith alone!

Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors.  With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.