Life, Dirt, Dust, Jesus Part 8 – Ken Williams

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Musing on life with Nancy’s and my children has revealed Jesus’ invisible presence when they were growing up. Jesus channeled his love through David and Heather, helping me mature as their father. What have I learned from Michael Edward, our 3rd born?

Nancy chose Carol, a midwife, to help her deliver our 3rd child. Nancy’s water broke on Saturday night, August 15. Michael Edward was born on August 16, 1982. With Nancy’s permission, Carol directed our children to help as Michael was being birthed. David cut the umbilical cord, Heather cleaned his nostrils, and I held our swaddled baby boy while Carol helped Nancy. Carol said, “He knows your voices but not mine.” Before birth Michael listened to his mother’s heartbeat and voice. He listened to his siblings and me. Nancy and I cried tears of joy when David and Heather were born, and then we joined together, celebrating Michael’s birth.

Early in life our youngest demonstrated his freedom of choice; at that time called “disobedience” by our church and sadly, us. God made all of us in his image. Parenting is essential when discipline is motivated by God’s love for little human beings, but lacking love it is equivalent to programing machines; we are not machines. David broke off one leaf from our beloved split leaf philodendron. Heather broke off two leaves. We taught them not to eat the poisonous plant. Michael didn’t eat it but destroyed it. David and Heather stayed on the blanket at church, read books, put together puzzles, and ate snacks. But the blanket was a prison for breaking out of for Michael. You could see him considering the options for ignoring our parental command of “no!”

Nancy and I learned that upholding rules, lacking God’s love for our children, was obviously wrong. As a result, we learned how to uphold the boundaries of home where each person learned to treat others as he/she wanted to be treated.  David and Heather helped Nancy and me “get real”, learning to love each child for who he/she is. Michael made the need for this change in our point of view obvious.

Coach Mickey put sophomore Michael on his high school varsity wrestling squad. He could see a couple years of training and maturing would make him the 145 lb. New York state champion. He was good but resigned before his junior year. He said his studies and friends deserved the time he was giving to varsity wrestling. Mickey asked me permission to have the team convince him. Ha! I told the coach, “Good luck!” Michael broke several hearts, mine included, but he stood his ground. He graduated 2nd in his class of 450 graduates. He remained loyal to friends and family. I told him I admired his courage and commitment to his higher priorities, as David and Heather have done.

I took Michael on a week’s tour to visit 10 northeastern colleges and universities to find one that would equip him to be a credentialed teacher, like his grandfather and his mother. Michael chose to go to Azusa Pacific University, on the west coast. At APU he fell in love with Jessica, a coed, and they married; she became our “2nd daughter”. He taught math for eleven years in Los Angeles, and nine years ago, Michael, Jessica, Arlo and Wendell moved to Rochester, NY, to be close as Nancy and I age.

Michael and Jessica now have four boys, Arlo, Wendell, Walt, and Llewyn. Four of our beloved grandsons, no granddaughters. Michael teaches freshman algebra in a challenging city school. Others attempted to convince him not to do this, it’s a tough school for teachers and kids. But Michael isn’t trying to prove anything but rather is answering to his life-long conviction to aid those who are left out, “outside looking in”. He answers Jesus’ call to follow him and matures in the grace and knowledge of our Lord.

Nancy and I did our best to love our children and they have returned that love teaching us about living life to its fullest.

Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors.  With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.