Life Lived and Lessons Learned-3- Ken Williams

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At Trader Joe’s – Episode 3 – learning to honor freedom of choice before “giving”:

The holiday season brings the spirit of giving and receiving, and here in upstate New York, some flying snow. Our local Trader Joe’s store stocks up with all the popular seasonal products and prepares to give extra customer attention during what becomes the holiday rush. The holiday mood is created by a combination of falling snow, the cheerful sound of Salvation Army volunteer bell ringers at the entrance, colorful decorations, and traditional music inside. Giving to one another and to the poor is woven within the fabric of the mystery of all this. Giving to and receiving from one another reminds me that Jesus is present.

Jesus, the Incarnate God’s self-revelation, is quoted as saying, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:35b). But I needed to learn to wait for the other person to ask for the “gift” before I give it.

One past December night I spotted a woman carrying her baby in a car seat, walking cautiously from her car, across our snow-covered parking lot toward our store. I pulled a grocery cart from the coral, brushed off the snow and held it while she placed the reclining car seat in it. It was cold and I shivered when I noticed her baby was bare footed. Her mother explained that her daughter always pulled her socks off and they were likely somewhere in the parking lot. I offered to go look for them, but she was in a rush and rejected my offer, turned and entered the store. I couldn’t shake off the image of those bare feet exposed to the frigid weather. What could I do to help?

We crossed paths again inside the store when I remembered I had a new pair of athletic socks in my backpack. I went to the crew’s room, took the socks out of my backpack and caught up with her. I tore the wrapper off and encouraged the mother to put them on her baby’s feet and legs. She accepted the gift and pulled them up full length. Now that I think about it, she probably did this to get rid of me, it was none of my business and she was in a rush. Now, mind you, the baby didn’t object, in fact she “thanked me”. She looked at me and when our eyes met, she gave me a big gummy smile, and kicked her stocking covered feet and legs, and she giggled loudly. O.K. I enjoyed it, but what happened to waiting until someone asks for help before giving (forcing) “help” on him or her?

Life lived while working at Trader Joe’s helped me learn this lesson and apply it in life. I thought of other times I have inconsiderately “helped” our grandsons without our children requesting help. I may have done something that needed to be done, but considerately asking if my help is needed must come first; (oh, and yes, protecting a child from running in the street even without parental permission is understood).

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Jesus is God’s gift and accepting him, God’s gift, gives socks for our bare feet on a cold winter’s night, i.e., eternal life worth living. I see that God leaves the choice up to me, otherwise I would likely keep pulling his socks off and suffering cold feet.

That winter’s night, a couple Decembers ago, the mother had to deal with her baby girl who has a lot to learn, and an old man who is still learning.

Stay tuned for Life Lived and Lessons Learned episode 4.

Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors.  With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.