Superstitious – Ken Williams

Abba’s Chastening or Time and Chance?

Too dull to get it?

Summer 2019, returning home from the closing shift for T.J’s, my PT Cruiser’s odometer rolled over to 140,000 miles. Habitually looking up at the top of the windshield to pray,(Isn’t he supposed to be up there?) I thanked God. I had been told the Cruiser would blow a head gasket at 100,000 miles. After uttering the heartfelt, “thank you God”, the engine stalled, but traveling at 65 mph on 390 north there was enough momentum to carry the car to the right margin. Ignorantly, I attempted to start the car but it was useless, so I called AAA. The next morning, my friend and mechanic Nick, owner of N&J, told me the timing belt broke and trying to start the engine finished it. I explained my prayer of thanksgiving to him, he’s Russian Orthodox, and he spontaneously interrupted me with, “Oh, Kenny, I would never pray like that, I’m too superstitious!” I don’t think I’m superstitious, but “timing belt” and timing of the event? Naw! I rejected the idea that God had anything to do with it. Too smug or dull to see any connection? Don’t know.

On the first Saturday night in August, two years ago, I suffered an allergic reaction from mosquito stings on my face and arms, closing my right eye, and drooping my right cheek down to my neck; I have CLL. I was admitted into URM/ER with over 100 other sick and suffering patients. We waited hours in the waiting room and halls to receive a bed. I was feeling sorry for myself and stopped praying for others, and asked God, “What about me?” Looking up to the ceiling (God is supposed to be “up there”) I sensed God was with all of us but moved by self-pity I prayed, “Uh, I’m no longer superstitious, but this is feeling really personal!” Four hours later the head of the Observation Unit drew close to touch me, and said, “Ken, we will not send you home looking like this.” She is a wonderful, caring young doctor, who expressed her concern, under Abba’s loving inspiration. I cried tears of joy and gratitude.

O.K., I’m not superstitious but am I too dull to see God’s is chastening (Heb. 12:6), or pruning me (John 15:2b), or correcting me (Prov. 12:6)? Abba loves me, so why not?

The coup de gras? June 14, I thanked God and told Nancy that I only had two doctor’s appointments in June and didn’t have any for a couple months after!

But, June 16. My hematologist said my CLL is advancing and scheduled a CT scan that day and a bone marrow biopsy in July. I had my first allergic reaction to a drug after drinking the pre-scan liquid with dye. By June 21 I was incapacitated with a burning miserable itching red rash that covered me from head-to-toe. Now I have appointments through July and August, not as I anticipated. Our upstate NY doctors are skilled and caring for those of us who are patients and have prescribed 16 days of prednisone. It’s working!

I’m accepting life’s circumstances with peace of mind. That’s God! I see Abba giving me something more valuable than two months free from doctor’s visits. That’s Abba doing for me something I cannot do for myself.

Jesus’ Passion and resurrection are on my mind throughout the day and night. He selflessly gave his entire being to make it possible for all of us inconsiderate, self-righteous, dull children to not only survive but bear fruit to give Abba glory, through his Son, empowered by his Spirit.

I’m no longer superstitious but asking for help that I will know and accept when Love is correcting me.

Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors.  With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.