Grief is a Unique Journey – Stuart Segall
I know many are familiar with the steps and stages of grief called the Kubler Ross Method, but in reality, our understanding is that while those steps are valid, people experience a very different order than the way they are laid out in the way Kubler Ross proposes.
That is why it is so important when someone is hurting and in grief that we remind ourselves not to view them through our own loss, and most of the time not to share our loss to somehow convince them we understand. They are already depressed about their heartbreak and even if they understand yours, they are twice as depressed now, after hearing your experience with grief.
It is when the human heart docks alongside a grieving heart, like a rowboat pulling up alongside another rowboat docked on a lake, that a beautiful picture forms. The quiet method of “I am here, I care and we can sit together in silence or we can talk, whenever you want to, again I am here” is the message.
Loving and caring silence can be such a comfort which will lead most likely to an opportunity to listen.
Now, some people recover faster than others. Some people’s grief is like a time bomb that goes off when they appear to be alright. Others can get an Oscar performance for hiding it, but underneath they grieve the hardest.
When you realize that no two grievers are alike, you understand a greater wisdom than “no two snowflakes are alike.” When in reality, with snowflakes, their pattern will eventually mimic each other.
The human heart it is extremely complex and unique as it goes through the human experiences. Part of the aging process is somewhat like sitting on the 50-yard line and watching life, getting older can remind us of how important it is to understand and observe each other as unique individuals.
So even C.S. Lewis who was so wise crumbled under grief. You can intellectually know about grief but it is in the journey you see the fright side. C.S. lost more than he initially realized when he lost his wife, Joy. However, in the end, he realized that the joy was worth the pain.
It really isn’t over like they tell you…but you will get through it. Yes, I assure you that one day you will find joy again, but it will be in other areas and in other places.
It is a journey, a long and winding road, but this verse can help you get through it.
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Eph 2:10
So, with what you are given from God, in the form of grace and comfort, take an extra scoop for yourself and also to pass it on. You were meant for this special occasion to help another child of God.