Everlasting Grace – To Err is Human, To Forgive, Divine -Steve Orr

Everlasting Grace—To Err is Human; To Forgive, Divine.

I love aphorisms like this that speak volumes with an economy or words.

These divine words of wisdom come from line 525 of “An Essay on Criticism,” a classic poem by Alexander Pope. (If you like classic English literature, you can find the entire poem here: (An Essay on Criticism)

The Big Picture of Human Hostility

While endless hostility in the Middle East seems to be ingrained in their culture, few, if any, nations are exempt from having a history of hostility. Unfortunately, the divine miracles that come with forgiveness among nations are rare.

One exception is the reconstruction of Germany after WWII. In my estimation, it is the superlative example of forgiveness at the national level in human history. After all, nuclear holocaust was at stake.

At war’s end, the German infrastructure was reduced to rubble. The Marshal Plan was introduced and led by the United States to provide the economic aid needed to rebuild the German economy and stabilize the currency by creating the Deutsche Mark. The progress was slow but consistent. Wirtschaftswunder, Germany’s economic “miracle” was the result. In 1955, the occupation of West Germany ended, and Germany joined NATO, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. In 1957, France returned the Saarland, and West Germany became a founding member of the EEC, European Economic Community. With the United Nations’ goal to facilitate world peace, West Germany joined the United Nations in 1973.

Similar efforts were made during the U.S. occupation, demilitarization, and reconstruction of Japan, which eventually experienced its own economic miracle.

Forgiveness is divine! Peace prevails, and with it comes human prosperity and the joys of relational peace. What is true for the national big picture also holds true between individuals.

The below is a collection of commonly held truisms from Scripture and psychologists…

What Forgiveness Is Not

· Forgiveness does not mean the other party gets off the hook.

· Forgiveness does not deny the hurt is real.

· Forgiveness does not guarantee or require relational reconciliation.

· Forgiveness does not deny us the “right” to be angry.

· Forgiveness is not about trust. Trust needs to be earned.

· Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness.

· Forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a decision.

· Forgiveness does not mean we put up with continued abuse.

· Forgiveness is not about changing the other person.

· Forgiveness does not condone or excuse the other person’s behavior.

· Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened. Even God says, “I will remember your sins no more.”

What Forgiveness Is

· Forgiveness is hard.

· Forgiveness often takes time. It doesn’t need to be instantaneous.

· Forgiveness is a personal choice to release bitterness and resentment.

· Forgiveness is true when we don’t gossip about the offense with others.

· Authentic forgiveness means we let go of the offense and seldom revisit it.

· Forgiveness allows us to move on with personal peace without reconciliation.

· We can forgive without requiring an apology, but we can ask for it if it helps to restore the relationship.

· Forgiveness means we must surrender to God, not the offending individual.

The Consequences of Harboring a Grudge

· An increased stress response with unhealthy cortisol and adrenaline levels.

· Problems with sleep that drains energy.

· Depression.

· Anxiety and distrust.

· Lowers level of mental well-being

· Since you can’t change the past, it is a waste of energy.

· Continuing to hold a grudge results in weakness and lack of self-confidence.

· The one holding the grudge hurts themself, not the one it is directed at.

The Benefits of Forgiveness

· Lower stress levels

· Lower risk of heart attack

· Longer life

· Healthy relationships

Voicing an angry grudge can produce a certain pleasure with a rush of the dopamine pleasure chemical. While our feelings may be just, and it feels good to provide a spirited defense, the dopamine high quickly wears off and becomes dull.

Eventually, people suffer emotional harm when they repeatedly relive their grudges. They enter into a kind of helplessness as they become bitter. A habitual stress response weakens them physically and psychologically. Are we in control of the grudge, or does it control us? The psychologically damaging consequences of losing control are anxiety, emotional instability, and neuroticism, which is sometimes accompanied by excessive moral rigidity.

While psychological counseling may help, I believe God has a better cure.

Scripture speaks volumes about forgiveness. It is a major theme of the Bible. Among the volumes, allow me to share three:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15)

That last passage is stark and stern, is it not? From that passage, we can conclude that an unforgiving heart means we are not “right with God.” It can be a relational killer between us and God and between us and others.

With this bullet point introduction, some of the foregoing has explored the negative consequences of an unforgiving human heart.

In the next article, I aim to highlight the positive and truly divine origins of forgiveness, where the unforced rhythms of grace bring healing to our relationships and our souls.

Please stay tuned and prepare to be refreshed with all Jesus, all the time.

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Steve Orr writes to us from Montana. After working in the mecca of technology, Steve traded the rat race of Silicon Valley for the adventures of High Tech in Big Sky Country. Steve has an MBA with experience in accounting, finance, technology, and management. He occasionally writes a little software code, but mostly he likes writing about Matters of the Heart.

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