Wounded – by Stuart Segall

Truth is we are all….yep, we are all wounded in life. Being wounded is a “me too” that we share in this journey of life.  Most of us have been the recipients of this common human experience.

Not seeing it does not change that, it just means you don’t….see it. In walking my own lonely battle trail of life, I have come to be grateful for this understanding. I am not directing these shared thoughts toward anyone here but the guy in the mirror even though it might be worth your read.  In my counseling with those seeking my help, I share this understanding to encourage them that if I can do it, you can too!

It is just something that comes to all of us on the journey of life. My parents were wounded. They filtered what came into their life through those wounds in their own way and communicated through those wounds to others. They naturally listened to others filtering what they heard through those same painful experiences.   

It was not deliberate; it is just the way life works in the background. I am not at all dissing my folks. I miss them terribly, but the truth helps me be aware of my own realities. That is the first step in understanding the meme at the top.

The healing and the unlearning begin when we understand this about each and every one of us. If this resonates with any of us, it becomes a great talking point with our kids and grand kids.

As we grow in this understanding, we then become more acute in recognizing other people and how they impact us.

I for one in my wounded past had a hard time telling people “No.”  I had the tendency my parents had, and that was to be a pleaser and a performer. When you have these traits like I did, you realize how difficult it can be to simply tell people “no” to requests when you need to draw a boundary.  I have learned to say “no thank you” and not make a big deal out of it.

Whatever it is and you don’t like how it feels, say “NO, THANK YOU!” — with love, respect, and determination. That’s how you begin. (Again, as I recognize my own wounded self, I have had this talk often in the mirror).

This is why transformation is often more about unlearning than learning.

Alvin Toffler had the right idea about the 21st century, but the need to unlearn and reprogram self-destructive behavior was always there.

We also have the privilege of being transformed in another way.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

When we put in the new way of life daily, we are wired to help in this transformation process-but it takes commitment and practice…practice, practice to have that happen.  However, if you do, it is so worth it and you will be encouraged.

Stuart Segall lives about an hour north of Seattle.  He has spent most of his adult life counseling, encouraging, inspiring and uplifting others.

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